arm, aber sexy. this is my ode to berlin.


Second instalment in my series of stories from the u-bahn

7pm on the U1 and it had been a warm day. Stepping in to the train car I was met with joyous screams and looked up to see a crazed man pacing the carriage, squealing ‘WOOOO!’ and ‘HEE HEHEHE! HEEEE!’ as he ran back and forth, wild eyed and frantic. Everybody in the carriage sat engrossed in their business as if nothing was happening. It was extremely loud and distracting – I searched for a seat. I found one opposite a beautiful black boy, who had killer eyelashes and that enviable clear, toned skin only dark people seem to have. I thought he might have been famous, but he never looked at me once. Nearby stood a young Spanish girl who did look at me with hot eyes and an ass the size of a watermelon. No, two watermelons. It was the biggest ass in the world but she wore it with punk and grace and that famous Spanish sass. Next to her was a Japanese German rich brat who wore Gucci loafers and carried a Louis Vuitton tote. He ran fingers through spiky black hair and talked loudly in to a fully sequined iphone decorated with a ruby studded kitten face. At the next station the crazed man leaped off the train, I could hear him hooting outside the carriage. Then he screamed one final gut curling scream and I turned to see he had pressed the emergency button on the platform and now some sort of siren was going off and I was sure the cops or security were going to come soon.

The train rattled on and Senorita with her hot eyes kept staring and the black boy ignored me and the Japanese German kept talking loudly in to his sequined phone and the older man next to me was taking photos of the floor with his blackberry and it was just the usual chaos & weirdness of an evening trip on the Berlin underground.